Navigating Sleep Training: A Journey with My Baby

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, I am not a baby expert—this blog is based on experience, a holistic fertility and early childhood course I took, and handed-down information from my mother.

I've been told my 10-month-old might simply be "a really 'good' baby," and perhaps I'll be tearing my hair out with the next one! Haha! Regardless, this mindset guides me while sleep training my daughter.

The Early Days of Sleep

Since birth, our daughter has been a relatively good sleeper. On her first night, she slept through without waking. To be honest, we never followed the "wake them up every 3 hours to feed" rule. I always felt it was impolite to disturb a sleeping baby!

We had a pretty crazy first few weeks with cluster feeding through the night. Our daughter is very verbal; she has a hungry appetite and will scream at us to tell us what to do! Other than my breastfeeding speed bumps I wrote about in other posts, things went well.

By 2 months, our daughter would go about 5 or 6 hours through the night. Then by 3 months, she reached her schedule she's on now—~9:30 pm to ~6 am, give or take half an hour on each end.

The Hormonal Connection

This is from a breastfeeding perspective. There is no direct hormone consumption with formula-fed babies, but some of these principles will still apply regardless of milk type:

• Use the hormone connection to your advantage—your natural cortisol curve will transfer to your baby through breast milk. In the morning, our cortisol should be increasing, and then in the afternoon, dipping down. Around sunset, our melatonin should dominate, and that's what helps us fall asleep and achieve deep sleep. Caffeine can impact a smooth curve, so try to have it at the beginning of the day, and mix it up with tea, especially in the afternoon, so the caffeine spikes aren't as intense. Caffeinated tea contains L-theanine, which is an amino acid that has a calming effect on the nervous system.

  
  

• Spend at least 15 minutes outside during sunset to reset your internal clock and promote melatonin production. When you return indoors, choose dim 'mood' lighting that isn't blue, avoiding electronic or fluorescent sources.

  
  

• Try to structure your day in such a way that you feel tired in the evening when the baby is going to sleep. On nights when I'm not tired after the evening nursing session, our daughter tends to take longer to fall asleep or is more likely to wake up. This indicates that my melatonin levels wouldn't be as high or dominating when I feed her to sleep. Therefore, until her bedtime routine was established, I planned to go to sleep at the same time as the baby so our hormone curve was in sync.

  
  

Evening Rituals

• A warm cup of milk can calm the system and boost milk production in mom. I opt for whole milk with cinnamon and turmeric. It got me through some cluster feeds, and to this day, it is one of my favorite evening 'snacks' when I don't feel satisfied from dinner.

  
  

• Herbal tea, especially those with chamomile, such as our Wind It Down blend, which I specifically reformulated for my evening nursing sessions, is great for teething babies. If you're not breastfeeding, you can use homeopathic blends or prepare a mild chamomile tea and add an ounce to the evening milk.

  
  

• We make it a point to have dinner early enough to allow for some digestion, which helps nutrients enter the milk supply. Although this is less crucial now that our daughter is eating solid foods, it's still a beneficial habit for promoting good digestion. Our dinners consist of homecooked meals with healthy fats, protein, and complex carbohydrates. On evenings when we put less effort into preparing dinner, I notice our blood sugar tends to be less stable, increasing the likelihood that our daughter might wake up hungry during the night.

  
  

Keeping Active

• Exhaust them! Plenty of fresh air before nap times, along with practicing skills like tummy-time, sitting, crawling, standing, and walking. Physical activity and engaging our daughter in learning new skills really wear her out. On days when I don't focus on this, I notice her sleep isn't as deep. It's slightly less demanding now that she's moving independently, but I still make sure she gets plenty of fresh air and exposure to nature.

  
  

Understanding Sleep Training

What Does Sleep Training Mean?

In terms of 'sleep training,' what do I mean? Our daughter would not sleep in a bassinet or crib until about 2 months, and all naps were on our chest or beside us; it was exhausting. We basically just slowly transitioned her, and each day it got longer apart from us. I know some people co-sleep, but seriously, I need my own space! Love her, but I grew up in a household where everyone had their independence.

Our house is small, and our room is beside hers. She makes the slightest noise, and we can hear and be at her side. This trust was built, and she sleeps happily in her crib. She stretches out the minute I put her down and loves cuddling her blankets.

We spend the evening mostly in her room, playing with her toys, with the salt lamp on. I nurse her or rock her to sleep and then put her in the crib.

Bumps in the Road

Heatwaves, temperature changes, and our daughter's aversion to sleep sacks have made this process less than perfect. We might get four consecutive nights of sleep, only to be awakened at 3 a.m. because she has kicked off her blanket or a tooth poked through. The challenge is rushing into the room before she fully wakes up crying, tucking her in quickly!

At least we can laugh about it over breakfast, and at least she's well-rested!

We are patient because we see that she is learning to soothe herself back to sleep. The other night, she woke up at 3 am and was sitting in her crib. I thought, "Sweetie, not now, it's bedtime, go back to sleep." I laid her back down, covered her with her favorite blanket, and left the room. She babbled to herself for a few minutes and then fell asleep. That felt like a bigger milestone than her first teeth. Two months ago, that would have meant an early start, playing with toys in the middle of the night, and wondering how I would manage the day..

-Samantha