A home birth - journal entry

Disclaimer:

This is a birth story, female anatomy will be discussed.

Experiencing childbirth for the first time was quite overwhelming!

I'm sharing this story because I believe it's important to discuss birthing experiences that don't resemble medical procedures.

During my pregnancy, I delved into books and blogs filled with midwifery tales and birthing stories. Eager to explore natural birth, I gathered as much information as possible to determine if I was ready for the challenge.

Stories like these inspired me to consider a homebirth. Some women even film (vlog) their homebirths, which I found incredibly helpful. However, I won't be doing that, so this is as much as I'd like to share on our platform.

Here's the story of the day our daughter was born in our bedroom at 6:33 p.m. on a Wednesday.

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Homebirth

My plan was always to have a home birth at some point, but I was unsure if I would be ready for our first baby.

Our midwife team visited our home, met our dogs, and left supplies. We packed a hospital bag just in case.

Leading up to our due date

Since I have a physical job (door-to-door delivering mail), I took maternity leave 1 month ahead of time. I was super run down, and my iron levels were dropping. My appetite was low because I was exhausted.

On leave, I was able to take it easy, relax, and get my appetite back. I focused on beef stews, bone broths, and warming foods. Once my due date had arrived, I was ready! Iron back to normal!

My plan was to labor as long as possible at home and then decide whether or not to stay or head to the hospital. 

We prepared our favorite foods to ensure the kitchen was stocked—granola, oatmeal raisin cookies, loaves of sourdough, hummus, and Brian made a big pot of chicken soup with bone broth. 

The day before due date

I began to drink our herbal tea with calendula flowers, which I believe can gently begin to encourage labor. I also added horsetail, oatstraw, and catnip, all beneficial for calming anxiety and restlessness.

I continued to drink my other labour prep tea, which is a nourisher containing raspberry leaf, nettle, rooibos, and ashwagandha.

1 Day after due date

I began to feel some action. I had never felt Braxton Hicks during pregnancy, but I assumed this was the feeling.

We went to the dog park that day, and during our hike around the park, I felt like I was wobbling! At this point, the Braxton Hicks contractions were every 5-15 minutes with no breaks, but disorganized and with no predictable rhythm. This was the start of my birthing process.

That night I made dinner since my taste buds had become pretty picky over the last couple of days. I expected dinner to be my 'pregame' meal: rice with lentils and a coconut curry with chicken and vegetables.

We ate and went to bed not too long afterward.

Counting Contractions

Shortly after retiring to bed, we began to count contractions. At this point, they were uncomfortable, and I moved into a 'child's pose' position, rocking forward and backward each time they came along.

10:30pm

We called the midwives to let them know what was going on. We were advised to get some sleep (yeah, right!), and call back when the contractions were more organized and more intense, or if my water broke.

6am

We didn't really sleep, just rested in between each contraction. They were ~5-7 minutes apart, but still a bit all over the place. We called the midwives to update them because I thought the contractions were super intense... unaware of what active labor felt like! :O

7am

Midwives arrived for a visit. I was 2-3 cm dilated. We were advised to rest and get more sleep if possible because I would be having the baby today! I would call back when the contractions became more intense, longer, closer together, or if my water or mucus plug broke.

It was nerve-wracking because I was only at the start line!!!!

"I wonder how much more pain is about to come my way?"

I think I attempted to eat a bite of an omelette, but hunger was not on my mind.

I attempted a bath, but didn't like it. It was a cold day, and my temperature was elevated, but there was a chill in the house. I didn't want to be wet. I was mostly lying down in between each contraction, still trying to rest.

12:45pm

My mucus plug released, and contractions were intensifying. We called the midwives.On the bedside table, I had a glass of milk, tea, apple cider juice, water, almonds, and an oatmeal raisin cookie. But all I wanted was sips of apple cider juice.

Now for some TMI

The sensation of needing a bowel movement was the most uncomfortable part of the entire labor. With each contraction, I thought, "this time for sure" ... but nothing happened. It was stressful! The feeling was actually baby moving down into position, as the birthing canal and the anal canal are adjacent—pressure on one affects the other. It was definitely not a feeling I had expected to be so bothersome.

2pm

I breathed VERY heavily into the pain to allow for the contraction to pass. The most intense yoga class ever!!!! The midwives arrived again and measured me at 4 cm. This was heartbreaking because I thought for sure I was further along...

During the visit, they observed my contractions and started applying pressure on my back. Brian was taught how to do this as it helps alleviate the pain. After seeing my contraction routine, the more experienced midwife asked if she could check my dilation, as the student had been doing it previously. She determined I was nearly 6 cm dilated, indicating I was in active labor! This was exciting!

Setting up

We decided since I was comfy and both our heartbeats/blood pressures were stable and strong, we would stay at home. The midwives continuously monitored me and baby throughout the entire birth using a hand-held Doppler. Hearing the sound of baby's heart beating strong kept me motivated and confident.

So from this point on, time was warped, as I was pretty busy dealing with contractions..

I attempted a shower, but still didn't like being wet. I didn't want to leave upstairs even. The dogs were in the backyard freaked out by the comotion, the cats were in the room with us.

Brian covered our bed with a vapor barrier (he was in the process of renovating our basement with insulation), a thick blanket, and another layer of disposables from the birthing supplies. In the baby room, the midwives set up their emergency supplies.

4pm

I was hitting that roadblock I read about. That feeling of "okay, never mind, I don't want to do this anymore and I'm not sure that I can." I was very discouraged my water wasn't breaking.

I kept telling myself, "once you get the feeling like you want to give up, the end is right around the corner—just PUSH THROUGH!"

I remember saying to Brian, "I guess it's a little late to back out? lol?" Brian's like: "WTF! The baby is coming out, Samantha!"

My midwife believed that the baby's head was pressing on the entrance to the birthing canal, and once my water broke, the baby was going to come right down.

4:30pm

Water broke!

~5:30, not sure..

I began to feel the urge to push. FINALLY, I felt like there was something I could pinpoint the push on. The feeling in my bowels faded away. IT WAS THE BABY.

It took a big couple trys to get the baby to enter the birthing canal. It was intense and frustrating because I knew I would soon meet the baby and everything would be over, but it couldn't happen quickly enough. At this stage, it was relaxing between contractions, and I just had to wait for the next wave.

Go Time

Each contraction was about 2 minutes apart. Brian applied pressure on my back. I had to be on all fours and breathe deeply.

This was the onset of entering the baby vortex.

She was on the way out, and I just had to keep pushing with the next contraction. My midwife said, 'just a couple more pushes,' and literally, that was so relieving to hear.

About labor pains

Was it painful? Each contraction was intense. I had laser-point focus surrounded by white noise. A blur of exact certainty. On repeat. I don't know how to describe it. Pain wasn't really pain.

There is immense pressure that continually washes over the body, similar to waves crashing against you on a beach. It's incredibly intense, but by the time you can determine if it's an overwhelming force, it has already faded away into the sunset, leaving you relaxed until the next one violently crashes into you.

The 1 more push realization

The hardest part is pushing the baby's head through into the real world. Ever heard of 'the ring of fire'?

To be honest, tearing was what I had feared most about a natural birth, but when it actually happened, it was so whatever given the journey that got us there. Breathing, timing and pre-birthing exercises can reduce severity of this situation, I can attest to that!

I was told to be patient and to push with the contraction wave, and to have patience in those 2 minutes... felt like eternity!

6:33pm

I remember saying in between the final contractions, "OMG, why isn't she crying?!!?" and the midwife said until their whole body is out, they still think they are inside, so they don't take their first breath of air.

With the next contraction, our daughter was born!

Skin to skin bliss

I was guided to lay back and, screaming baby, was brought onto my chest and literally, even writing this now, I am streaming in tears, as that was the most surreal moment of my life. Brian was behind me, kissing my head, whispering what a good job I did and how much he loved me. The midwives were scurrying around, getting things ready for the measurement checks and cleaning the area around me.

At this point, I look down and there is this beautiful little creature in my hands cooing. I can't even remember what all happened in those moments, but it was so magical. It was so pure and it didn't feel real. I can transport myself back to that moment if I really think about it, and I’ll get shivers of bliss every time.

3 hours of monitoring

The midwives stayed 3 hours to monitor us. A series of continuous blood pressure and pulse checks ensured the recovery process was going to plan. During that time, I birthed the placenta, and it was also checked to see the health of the organ and to ensure there was no tear.

I took a quick shower rinse while Brian held down the fort. I had a little bite to eat—sourdough with peanut butter, honey, and hemp hearts.

Breastfeeding

The midwives guided me to breastfeed little baby's first sips of colostrum, and then she dozed off to nap.

Once they all left, Brian and I spent the night napping with one eye open, baby between us, waking up to feed her every so often.

In the morning

Brian made me an omelette with goat cheese. The midwives came back around 9 a.m. to check on us again. They came every couple of days for 2 weeks to ensure Renn’s weight gain was progressing. In a journal, I tracked diaper changes and the feeding schedule.

Everything was going well. I was on a high of adrenaline for the next few days. After that, I felt the ups and downs and pains of childbirth. MY GOODNESS, WHAT A RIDE!

I thought the birth was going to be the hardest part, but for me, the onset of breastfeeding was the greatest struggle. More on that in a bit...

Would I do a homebirth again?

Yes! Given that all goes smoothly, I would. Hearing Renn’s heartbeat was very motivating. If that had changed at all, I would definitely head to the hospital. 

If we had a baby in the spring or summer, I would be interested in a water birth, but in winter, lying around in lukewarm water is the furthest thing from my mind. 

Being in my own bed after the birth was so comforting, definitely a home birth perk. 

A disadvantage is seeing all those fluids come out of you in your own home. Luckily, the cleanup was mostly put into a garbage bag and done quickly, thanks to everyone helping out! 

Midwife experience

I would recommend it to anyone. They had great knowledge, I found them very personable, and I could sense love in their hearts.

Home visits after the birth were so helpful. My body was in recovery mode and running on little sleep. I was living in my pjs, so having checkups come to me was AMAZING.

More on the challenges of breastfeeding and postpartum in my next blog!

Sorry if this was TMI :P

-Samantha