Disclaimer: This is a birth story, female anatomy is discussed.
Carrying the most protected part of my body into the unknown
Giving birth for the first time was a lot to think about!
During my pregnancy with Renn, I read books and blogs for midwifery tales and birthing stories. Interested in natural birth, I absorbed as much information as I could. I concluded: each birthing experience is quite unique and, despite not always going to plan, an unforgettable experience.
I am happy to share our story of the day Renn was born in our bedroom at 6:33 p.m. on a Wednesday.
Homebirth
My plan was always to have a home birth at some point, but I was unsure if I would be ready for our first baby.
Our midwife team visited our home, met our dogs, and left supplies. We packed a hospital bag just in case.
Leading up to our due date
Since I have a physical job (door-to-door delivering mail), I took maternity leave 1 month ahead of time. I was super run down, and my iron levels were dropping. My appetite was low because I was exhausted.
On leave, I was able to take it easy, relax, and get my appetite back. I focused on beef stews, bone broths, and warming foods. Once my due date had arrived, I was ready! Iron back to normal!
My plan was to labor as long as possible at home and then decide whether or not to stay or head to the hospital.
We prepared our favorite foods to ensure the kitchen was stocked—granola, oatmeal raisin cookies, loaves of sourdough, hummus, and Brian made a big pot of chicken soup with bone broth.
The day before due date
I began to drink our NIH Day Dreamer herbal tea because it contains calendula flowers, which I believe can gently begin to encourage labor. The tea also contains horsetail, oatstraw, and catnip, all beneficial for calming anxiety and restlessness.
I continued to drink our Vitalitea, which is a nourisher containing raspberry leaf, nettle, rooibos, and ashwagandha.
1 Day after due date
I began to feel some action. I had never felt Braxton Hicks during pregnancy, but I assumed this was the feeling.
We went to the dog park that day, and during our hike around the park, I felt like I was wobbling! At this point, the Braxton Hicks contractions were every 5-15 minutes with no breaks, but disorganized and with no predictable rhythm. This was the start of my birthing process.
That night I made dinner since my taste buds had become pretty picky over the last couple of days. I expected dinner to be my 'pregame' meal: rice with lentils and a coconut curry with chicken and vegetables.
We ate and went to bed not too long afterward.
Counting Contractions
Shortly after retiring to bed, we began to count contractions. At this point, they were uncomfortable, and I moved into a 'child's pose' position, rocking forward and backward each time they came along.
10:30pm
We called the midwives to let them know what was going on.
We were advised to get some sleep (yeah, right!), and call back when the contractions were more organized and more intense, or if my water broke.
6am
We didn't really sleep, just rested in between each contraction. They were ~5-7 minutes apart, but still a bit all over the place. We called the midwives to update them because I thought the contractions were super intense... unaware of what active labor felt like! :O
7am
Midwives arrived for a visit. I was 2-3 cm dilated. We were advised to rest and get more sleep if possible because I would be having the baby today!
I was to call back when the contractions became more intense, longer, closer together, or if my water or mucus plug broke.
It was nerve-wracking because I was only at the start line!!!!
"I wonder how much more pain is about to come my way?"
I think I attempted to eat a bite of an omelette, but hunger was not on my mind.
I attempted a bath, but didn't like it. It was a cold day, and my temperature was elevated, but there was a chill in the house. I didn't want to be wet.
I was mostly lying down in between each contraction, still trying to rest.
12:45pm
My mucus plug released, and contractions were intensifying. We called the midwives.
On the bedside table, I had a glass of milk, tea, apple cider juice, water, almonds, and an oatmeal raisin cookie. But all I wanted was sips of juice.
Now for some TMI
The urge to take a bowel movement was the most uncomfortable feeling throughout the whole labor. Each contraction, I would think "this time for sure" ... but nothing. It was stressful!
The feeling was actually baby Renn moving down into position, as the birthing canal and the anal canal run beside each other—pressure on one squishes the other.
2pm
I breathed VERY heavily into the pain to allow for the contraction to pass. The most intense yoga class ever!!!!
The midwives arrived again and measured me at 4 cm. This was heartbreaking because I thought for sure I was further along...
During the visit, they witnessed my contractions and began to apply pressure on my back. Brian was shown how to do this because it reduces pain.
After witnessing my contraction routine, the more experienced midwife asked if she could check my dilation (since the trainee had been doing it before). She put me at almost 6 cm dilated, so pronounced active labor! This was exciting!
Setting up
We decided since I was comfy and both our heartbeats/blood pressures were stable and strong, we would stay at home. The midwives continuously monitored Renn and me throughout the entire birth using a hand-held Doppler. Hearing the sound of baby Renn's heart beating strong kept me motivated and confident.
So from this point on, time was warped, as I was pretty busy dealing with contractions.
I attempted a shower, but still didn't like being wet.
I didn't want to leave upstairs. I could see our dogs sleeping in the backyard, and our cats were in the bedrooms with us, so that was my zone.
Brian covered our bed with a vapor barrier (he was in the process of renovating our basement with insulation), a thick blanket, and another layer of disposables from the birthing supplies. In the baby room, the midwives set up their emergency supplies.
4pm
I was hitting that roadblock I read about. That feeling of "okay, never mind, I don't want to do this anymore and I'm not sure that I can." I was very discouraged my water wasn't breaking.
I kept telling myself, "once you get the feeling like you want to give up, the end is right around the corner—just PUSH THROUGH!"
I remember saying to Brian, "I guess it's a little late to back out? lol?" Brian's like: "WTF! The baby is coming out, Samantha!"
My midwife believed that Renn's head was pressing on the entrance to the canal, and once my water broke, the baby was going to come right down.
4:30pm
Water broke!
~5:30, not sure..
I began to feel the urge to push. FINALLY, I felt like there was something I could pinpoint the push on.
The feeling in my bowels faded away. IT WAS THE BABY.
She rocked back and forth, crossing into the birthing canal. I felt frustrated; I knew this was a threshold I had to push through!
Sitting on the toilet during contractions is a method to achieve significant progress. It was in this position that I felt Renn move down into the birth canal. My midwife confirmed this with a quick check using a flashlight.
Go Time
I wasn't allowed on the toilet anymore! Each contraction was about 2 minutes apart.
Brian applied pressure on my back. I had to be on all fours and breathe deeply.
This was the onset of entering the baby vortex.
She was on the way out, and I just had to keep pushing with the next contraction. My midwife said, 'just a couple more pushes,' and literally, that was so relieving to hear.
About labor pains
Was it painful? Each contraction was intense. I had laser-point focus surrounded by white noise. A blur of exact certainty. On repeat.
I don't know how to describe it. Pain wasn't really pain.
There's so much pressure that keeps washing over the body. It’s like waves crashing into you on a beach. It's so intense, but by the time you can decide whether or not it's unbearable, it's gone, receded into the sunset, and you are relaxed until the next one viciously crashes into you.
The 1 more push realization
The hardest part is pushing the baby's head through into the real world. This is the part where women can 'tear', and without an epidural, you can feel this process, which is an uncomfortable burn, obviously.
To be honest, tearing was what I had feared most about a natural birth, but when it actually happened, it was so whatever given the journey that got us there.
I was told to be patient and to push, breathing with the contraction to minimize a tear. To have patience in those 2 minutes until the next contraction is hard because you can see and feel the baby's head.
It worked though, and I didn't have any stitches.
6:33pm
With Renn's head out, I was assisted to be upright, on my knees, and with the next contraction, Renn was born!
I remember saying in between that contraction, "OMG, why isn't she crying?!!?" and the midwife said until their whole body is out, they still think they are inside, so they don't take their first breath of air.
Skin to skin bliss
I was guided to lay back and Renn, screaming, was brought onto my chest and literally, even writing this now, I am streaming in tears, as that was the most surreal moment of my life. Brian was behind me, kissing my head, whispering what a good job I did and how much he loved me. The midwives were scurrying around, getting things ready for the measurement checks and cleaning the area around me.
At this point, I'm covered in blood and there is this beautiful little creature in my hands cooing. I can't even remember what all happened in those moments, but it was so magical. It was so pure and it didn't feel real. I can transport myself back to that moment if I really think about it, and I’ll get shivers of bliss every time.
3 hours of monitoring
The midwives stayed 3 hours to monitor us. A series of continuous blood pressure and pulse checks ensured the recovery process was going to plan. During that time, I birthed the placenta, and it was also checked to see the health of the organ and to ensure there was no tear.
I took a quick shower rinse while Brian held Renn. Then she was weighed, measured, and all the forms were filled out.
Brian brought me a little bite to eat—sourdough with peanut butter, honey, and hemp hearts.
Breastfeeding
The midwives guided me to breastfeed little baby Renn her first sips of colostrum, and then she dozed off to nap.
Once they all left, Brian and I spent the night napping with one eye open, Renn between us, waking up to feed her every so often.
In the morning
Brian made me an omelette with goat cheese. The midwives came back around 9 a.m. to check on us again. They came every couple of days for 2 weeks to ensure Renn’s weight gain was progressing. In a journal, I tracked diaper changes and the feeding schedule.
Everything was going well. I was on a high of adrenaline for the next few days. After that, I felt the ups and downs and pains of childbirth. MY GOODNESS, WHAT A RIDE!
I thought the birth was going to be the hardest part, but for me, the onset of breastfeeding was the greatest struggle. More on that in a bit...
Would I do a homebirth again?
Yes! Given that all goes smoothly, I would. Hearing Renn’s heartbeat was very motivating. If that had changed at all, I would definitely head to the hospital.
If we had a baby in the spring or summer, I would be interested in a water birth, but in winter, lying around in lukewarm water is the furthest thing from my mind.
Being in my own bed after the birth was so comforting, definitely a home birth perk.
A disadvantage is seeing all those fluids come out of you in your own home. Luckily, the cleanup was mostly put into a garbage bag and done quickly, thanks to everyone helping out!
Midwife experience
I would recommend it to anyone. They had great knowledge, I found them very personable, and I could sense love in their hearts.
Home visits after the birth were so helpful. My body was in recovery mode and running on little sleep. I was living in my pjs, so having checkups come to me was AMAZING.
More on the challenges of breastfeeding and postpartum in my next blog!
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